I should write an about me.

So here I go. Maybe. :|

And before I begin: a large majority of this story is not pleasant. Stick around and I promise you, there is a happy ending. (:

My name is Ashley. Ashley Jordan Wilson. I am ever changing and growing. I am improving. I have a huge imagination, an unsatiable love for animals and humans, but a low tolerance for ignorance. (you see how those could conflict, right?) I have green eyes, and cool birth marks. Or at least I enjoy them. I am slightly obsessed with hedgehogs, Chuck Palahniuk and The Legend of Zelda games. I have a sweet, polydactyl kitten named Seis (because she has 6 toes on each of her front paws). She came to live with me August 2nd, 2011. I have one tattoo, and I intend to have more. Whenever I get stressed, my hair changes. I’ll cut it, or dye it. Something. I’ve had several piercings and intend to bring them back soon. (: I love singing, drawing, writing. I love being productive, and even on my most bitter days, I love life.

 I don’t know where I was born. Funny thing, huh? I was under the impression from my mother that I was born in Texas. So that’s what I’ve always told people. I have yet to see my birth certificate and she keeps ‘forgetting’ to mail it to me. I  had lived most of my life in North Carolina, until a few months ago when I moved to Salem, Oregon. My big adventure. (: Hopefully, there will be more to come. Why Salem? A boy. Not just any boy, though. One who turned my world upside down from the moment I laid eyes upon him. Now, I don’t believe in love at first sight… But I do believe that nothing ever happens by chance. Somehow, he was best friends with one of my best friends. (When they were young! And still kept in touch!) Somehow, he ended up in North Carolina at just the right time.  Somehow, I ended up at Jerry’s house that night. Somehow, he was single. And somehow, even though his heart longed for another, he chose me. And for some reason, we kissed. It was magic. I will never question any of this. His name is Jose. He’s my love of a lifetime. 

I do not get along with my mother. She’s the wolf in sheeps clothing and if it weren’t for my sister, I would have no contact with her whatsoever. There was a man in her life.  His name is Joe. A terrible waste of flesh, with only cruel intentions. He stole part of me. To this day, she will still choose him over me. Until a few years ago, I wasn’t close to my father either. They were both really young when I came along, and because of Joe, my grandmother raised me. I love my little sister more than any other human on this planet. Her name is Sydney Paige. I gave her that middle name. I thought it was the most beautiful name ever when I was 6. She’s much too far away from me now. And then there is Brandon. Who is painfully further away from me than I even want to think about. October 7th, 2008, he was walking home from a church that you can literally see from my mother’s front door. He never made it home that night. A woman that I only know that name of, hit and killed him with her Chevy Blazer. If you want to know what nightmares are made of; this is it. This woman took my little brother’s life when he was only thirteen and suffered no consequences. NONE.  She drove away in the truck she murdered him in.  After he rolled off the hood of her truck, she continued to drive. When she finally stopped, she called animal control and said she hit a deer. What kind of fuck is this?!

Because of these shitty circumstances, I have anxiety issues and abandonment issues that I’m working to overcome a little everyday. 

BUT. I am an intelligent young woman, and I’ve worked hard for everything I’ve got. I have goals, dreams, and ambitions. Even though I’ve had to weed them out, I have some wonderful friends.  I’ll do anything in my power to make you smile, or help you out. I’ll always lend a helping hand, a shoulder, or an ear. I do not need your pity and I refuse to let my past hinder me, nor will I ever use these things as an excuse for why I CAN’T. Whenever I hear the saying “you’re a product of your enviroment”, my stomach churns. That is complete and utter bullshit. If you are in an unhealthy situation where you are not safe or happy or you just believe it’s wrong, you can decide whether or not to live that way. You are more than capable of making your own destiny and your own decisions. Never let someone elses mistakes, vices, mind games. opinions or fucked up ways of living define you. 

You are much better than that!

I have learned that at the end of the day, you only need yourself. No one can fight your battles for you. No one is going to come save you. You must be your own hero. This is me in a nutshell. For the moment, anyway. 

Keep your chin up, your hopes high, and remember: Only fools are positive. (: